Is Everyone shouting
"Off With Her Head"?
Wedding Day Princess
or Wicked Queen
June 29, 2009
Is
everyone around you shouting "Off with her head"?
Most brides want to be a princess on their wedding day,
a vision of grace and beauty. Unfortunately, some brides
come off more like the wicked queen or evil stepmother.
If you are under the impression, your wedding is only about
you, I have one question, what about the groom? I actually
had a bride tell me the groom was just an accessory; he
was there to make her look good. For all the brides who
feel this way think about this, without the groom you would
not be a bride.
It
is easy to fall into the mindset of "I am the princess
and I will get what I want". Being able to handle the
stress of planning a wedding and the ability to be flexible
shows the true character of a woman. If a woman cannot handle
planning for such a wonderful and happy time, what is she
going to do when things get tough? Being a bride is never
an excuse for being rude and vulgar. Ultimately, your personality,
mood and demeanor are what will make your wedding day memorable
unless of course the trappings are all you want your guests
to remember.
Asking a friend or relative to be in the wedding is a sign
of respect and friendship. It does not mean they have to
be at your beckoning. Attendants are not mind readers nor
are they a scapegoat for your poor decisions, procrastination
or lack of money. Let me also add just for the record, I
do not know a single wedding professional who will tolerate
a bride who is vulgar, abusive or physical with the product
or staff. Try that behavior and you will most likely loose
your deposit and your vendor. Brides who have the money
to make lavish demands usually are working with a professional
wedding coordinator and the keyword here is professional.
So for any bride considering a Bridezilla as a role model,
forget it.
The program where brides act like spoiled, ill-behaved children
for entertainment, did I say entertainment? May be amusing
but in real life it is the surest way to ruin what is to
be the best time in your life not only for those around
you but for the groom and ultimately yourself.
One bridezilla who declared herself a hot princess but acted
like she had gone off her medication. She put her fist into
her preview cake, smashed her table arrangement, punched
a woman and was fixated on her guests knowing how much money
she and the groom had spent even though it was all on plastic.
She might as well of hung a sign reading, Look at me, look
at me I'm crude and vulgar and I've maxed out my credit
card!
The most alarming thing about this bride's behavior was
she had young children, what an example she set for them.
I found myself wanting the groom to cut his losses and run
in the opposite direction. This bride was such a pathetic
spectacle that in the end, she was just the drunk in a white
dress and spent most of her reception on a throne of an
entirely different sort. Talk about karma.
In stark contrast, I officiated an outdoor wedding where
an unexpected August rain could have ruined the day had
it not been for the bride. Although the reception was set
up in a pavilion, the ceremony was set for the main lawn.
There was no time or way to cover the ceremony area and
the bride was determined nothing would dampen her wedding
day not even the rain. She asked friends to go to every
discount store and buy up all the dollar umbrellas in stock.
As guests arrived in dresses and suits, they were offered
an umbrella, asked to take off their shoes and socks and
to roll up their pant legs. Everyone without exception happily
complied. The bride had remained out of site but in control.
She said it was just Mother Nature. Frankly, I would have
been a basket case. Not this bride, she asked the groom
to have the DJ change her entrance music. When the music
began, her guests clapped and cheered while she walked barefoot
down the aisle to Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head.
Of the many photographs taken that afternoon, one stands
out in my mind. The bride and groom asked all their guests,
staff, family and attendants to gather for a photograph
of their feet naturally. Later I saw that photograph of
bare feet used in several advertisements.
The barefoot wedding wasn't the most expensive or lavish
I have witnessed nor the most beautifully decorated but
I can tell you it is the only wedding out of the nearly
three thousand that I remember in such detail and that makes
me smile every time I recall that rainy day in August.
The wedding could have taken on a much different mood had
it not been for the bride and groom. The grace, style and
happiness of the bride came through and made everyone feel
good and okay with the sudden change in weather. Remember
the bride sets the mood. Wanting to be a princess is fine,
but you have to ask yourself, am I the only one treating
me like a princess? If the answer is yes, then the next
question should be why.
If you want the day to be only about you then I suggest
you elope and involve as few people as possible. However,
if you want family and friends to be included in your day
then be prepared to think beyond yourself. You will find
people are more willing to offer their help and support
when you act like a real princess.
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