Do
You Really Need a Wedding Rehearsal?
June 04, 2009
Your ceremony is the beginning of the most wonderful day
of your life. It sets the tone for the entire day; it is
the smile on his face, the lump in his throat, the look
that takes his breath away as he sees you coming down the
aisle. This is your day, your moment in time, a moment that
will forever be cherished and remembered. As important as
this day is, many brides neglect to give their wedding rehearsal
the time and attention it deserves.
It is amazing there is so little information regarding
the rehearsal. Beautiful ceremonies do not just happen.
So often, you hear, "I wish I would have done this
or said that" or "I was going to do, whatever
but I wasn't sure when to do it". Unfortunately, actions
may appear hesitant, awkward or sloppy; romantic words or
gestures can easily be overlooked or bypassed because it
is unclear when and how to proceed. The day of the wedding,
nerves and emotions are at their peak and so many things
are going on; this is not the time to leave things to chance.
Everyone from the bride and groom, their families and wedding
party are expected to know exactly what to do, how to do
it and when to do it and yet there is very little available
on how to organize a rehearsal and what to include. Unless
the bride has a coordinator to oversee the rehearsal, she
is pretty much on her own. Even with a coordinator, the
bride may only get the very basics, the seating of mothers,
processional, attendant placement and recessional with no
attention given to form or actual timing.
Some will argue that if you rehearse, the ceremony will
not be fresh and the romantic gestures or words will not
be spontaneous, which is a valid argument if you are attempting
to rehearse every word and detail of your ceremony. However,
the wedding rehearsal is not to practice dialogue, it is
to block and stage your ceremony as if it were a theatrical
production. In theatrical terms, blocking is directing the
positions and movement of the actors; it is choreography
of movement.
The choreography of the ceremony begins with the seating
of family by the ushers or groomsmen and concludes with
the bride and groom leaving the ceremony and may extend
beyond the ceremony depending on the couple. Most people
know the basics, it is the style and manner in which something
is done that makes the difference. The attention to that
type of detail is what will set a ceremony apart from all
the others and it will show in both photography and video.
If you are comfortable with what you are doing, you will
be more relaxed and able to enjoy this wonderful time in
your life.
Here are a few brief suggestions for your rehearsal:
When to Schedule - If possible, avoid scheduling
a rehearsal for right after work. If your wedding party
has to fight rush hour traffic, you can be almost certain
the rehearsal will not start on time. Wedding professionals
including the minister, judge, photographer etc. whom you
have requested attend the rehearsal may charge a fee and
give you a specific block of time. Some professionals charge
an additional fee when asked to stay longer than scheduled.
Rehearsals on weekends or holidays may be difficult for
wedding professionals to attend and if they are charging
you a fee, it may be higher.
Time - Allow at least 1 hour for your rehearsal.
The rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner are two separate
events. Schedule a time for the rehearsal and a time for
the dinner. If the rehearsal and dinner will be held at
different locations, make sure to allow for travel time.
Who Should Attend - Invite only those who will actually
be in the wedding ceremony and parents of the bride and
groom to the rehearsal.
Invite everyone else to join you later at the rehearsal
dinner.
What to Bring - Bring the wedding music to the rehearsal.
If the bride will wear gloves during the ceremony then bring
them to the rehearsal.
Bridesmaids should have the shoes they will wear for the
ceremony with them, especially if your ceremony is outdoors.
Common Sense - Show up sober. You would be amazed
at how many times the bride, groom or members of the wedding
party have shown up drunk. The rehearsal should be fun but
it does serve a purpose; if you want to party wait until
after the rehearsal otherwise you are just wasting everyone's
time.
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